The Wonders Forum Index The Wonders
A forum where you can learn about The Wonders and share your experiences of them.
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

That which you are not...

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    The Wonders Forum Index -> 4. That Which You Are Is That Which I Am, And That Which I Am Is That Which You Are
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
James Reyes-Picknell



Joined: 18 Feb 2004
Posts: 263
Location: Barrie, ON, Canada

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 4:20 pm    Post subject: That which you are not... Reply with quote

Greetings,
At the Inner Child, Part 3, retreat this weekend I had a bit of an eye opener about the 4th defining statement. I'd like to share it here and I hope it doesn't confuse anyone.

The Wonders pointed out that not only does the 4th mean "that which you are..." and "that which I am..." it also means, "that which you aren't"... and "that which I am not..."

Not only can we see what we are in others and see what others are in ourselves, we can see what we are not and what they are not.

This came from a discussion of not choosing because of the fear of harming another. E.g.: I won't choose something that I know could harm my spouse, Aileen. I needed to look into why I'm afraid that she might feel harmed and then ask myself, "is that real?" I may see that it is or that it isn't. If it is real and choose to harm her I'm also choosing to harm myself. But if it isn't real, then no harm can really be done. If the harm I'm afraid of inflicting is nothing more than my perception of her perceptions then it's not harm. It's just judgement heaped on judgement. That's not to say that if I went down that path it won't have consequences. It could, and I may not like them, but if I truly "know" that there is no harm, even consequences that may appear harmful on the surface are actually helpful. By choosing regardless of that fear I provide her with an opportunity to choose too.

When my first wife and I divorced it appeared "bad" to our families, ourselves and no doubt to society as a whole. We had "broken" our family. Failed after 20+ years. But it actually set both her and I free to choose differently. She chose to leave me. She perceived I'd be hurt and as hard as it was for her to get past that, she chose it. Yes, I felt hurt, but I did eventually get over it, resolved not to let this be harmful and moved on. My life now is vastly different and on a new trajectory - one that I'm absolutely delighted with. As far as I know, so too is hers and I'm happy for her too.

Down deep she "knew" that it was the right thing to do for her. It would not harm her. She was right. It was also not harmful to me. Quite the contrary, it was helpful for both of us, even though at the time, I saw it as harmful. She knew there would be no harm and even though I did not know it at the time, she was right. In those days neither of us had any knowledge of the 6 defining statements - we just lived them. There was no harm - only expansion. Now I'm conscious of that.

If one "knows" there can't be harm, then the other can't be harmed. If the one knows there can be harm then the other can be harmed. In doing no harm to the other you do no harm to yourself. In doing harm to another you do harm to yourself.
_________________
Jim
Pull a stick out of the beaver dam each day!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
David



Joined: 14 Feb 2007
Posts: 865
Location: Big Island Down Under

PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 10:34 pm    Post subject: Re: That which you are not... Reply with quote

Greetings Jim,

James Reyes-Picknell wrote:
Down deep she "knew" that it was the right thing to do for her. It would not harm her. She was right. It was also not harmful to me. Quite the contrary, it was helpful for both of us, even though at the time, I saw it as harmful. She knew there would be no harm and even though I did not know it at the time, she was right. In those days neither of us had any knowledge of the 6 defining statements - we just lived them. There was no harm - only expansion. Now I'm conscious of that.

If one "knows" there can't be harm, then the other can't be harmed. If the one knows there can be harm then the other can be harmed. In doing no harm to the other you do no harm to yourself. In doing harm to another you do harm to yourself.


I can relate to that. When I was in my early twenties I was in a relationship with a woman who used to travel interstate every so often with her work. On one of these trips she met this complete stranger in the street who said to her "you know you have to leave David, but don't worry, he will understand." When she told me the story and that she would be leaving me, though I was hurt (and took some time to get over it) deep down I did know myself that it needed to end. To this day, I have no idea who that guy in the street was.

Cheers

David
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    The Wonders Forum Index -> 4. That Which You Are Is That Which I Am, And That Which I Am Is That Which You Are All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group